In loving memory 🩵

Posy “Tussie Mussie” 🩵🩵🩵 

I’ve been putting this off, because I know I’ll cry my eyes out while typing this…

It was more than those two dazzling blue eyes that sparkled with every glimmer of light. 

There was something more than the pure delight of watching dribbles of milk drip down her little chin.

The gentle caresses, the fuzzy kisses, the newborn cuddles, the biggest highlight when coming home from Work. 

The spunkiest, the boss of the triplets, yet… 

The smallest one, the weakest, the outcast, rejected by her mommy...

It didn't matter, she's mine now.

My little Tussie Mussie.

I'm thankful for the 45 days I had with this baby girl.

I will always treasure the sweet memories. You will remain in my heart forever, Posy.

I never Knew a goat could break my heart so bad... Either that, or take a piece of it with her.

If you only knew how much I needed you. If only you could've felt how badly I wanted you to hold on, or understood how greatly I loved you.

on the merciless night of August fourteenth, I shed far too many

tears on the suddenly slipping away kid. I stayed up all night long only to hear the struggled breathing, the heart -wrenching bleatings and the look of those…

two dim eyes glancing up at me, only to make sure… she wasn't alone.

"You're not alone, baby. I'm right here. Please pull through this!

Please, Posy, I need you. Don't give up yet.”  I murmured a hundred prayers.

She pulled through that night. 

on the morning of August fifteenth, my little lamb took her last breath.

Gone. 

You go to work the next day, people ask how you’re doing, you put up that smile over the pain, and tell them that you’re fine. But you’re not. 

I can't help but think ... I did something wrong. I feel like a failure.

I failed her.

And? she trusted me.

sigh.

You move on with life, but those scars are still there.

It scares me to love something so much, that... you can so easily

Lose.

She captured the heart of every soul that laid eyes on her.

Even the vet lady started crying

While choking out, " shots and medicine can't do anything, she's just too small. she's not growing." She was premature and her lungs were underdeveloped. 

I know it may sound silly for some, after all she was just a goat… but to me, she was more than a goat. 

I still have Billy, I still have Paris. I still have my other babies. God never makes a mistake, and I’m thankful for the time that God lended her to me. 🩷🩵✨

“The LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.”

‭‭Job‬ ‭1‬:‭21